I'm sure most of you are probably quite tired of hearing about Jodie Foster's Golden Globes speech, but I don't care: this is something I have to say.
I am NOT angry about her speech - I'll get to that in a minute - like apparently a lot of people are, and like Deb Baer, a writer for the Huffington Post, is; nor am I seeking to speak for her or override what she did actually say, like Mark Olmstead, who also writes for the Huffintgon Post.
No, I'm mad about both of them.
Basically, they're not pleased, Baer more so than Olmstead; Baer is furious. Please actually read the articles (if you haven't already) and experience their words and opinions first-hand. You can find Baer's piece here, and Olmstead's piece here.
But I'm furious too - who the hell is anybody else to tell someone how or when to come out? Coming out is one of the most personal, terrifying, exhilarating things anyone can do, and you have to do it when you're ready, not before.
Everyone is entitled to her/his/hir privacy, especially in this "information age" of Facebook and Twitter and even Google+ - this age when we're all expected to share every little bit of our personalities with everybody else. Frankly, it's ridiculous. Since when did knowing when someone is going to brush her/his/hir teeth mandatory for friendship?
Privacy must be cherished, and we must not condemn those who guard theirs, even if they guard it jealously.
The point is this: when everybody not just wants, but demands to know everybody else's business, this desire applies especially to celebrities. People seem to think that they have a right to know the deepest details of a person's life just because this person happens to be famous. This is wrong. False. Erroneous. Nobody is entitled to know anything about anybody else; choosing to tell people about yourself is the point of friendship and trust. If you were famous, and loads of people knew your name and face, would you want complete strangers delving into your every aspect of your personal life, especially your sexuality, and judging you for it? I can't imagine any of you answering that question in the affirmative, except those of you who have severe attention issues.
Baer makes the point that "it's 2013," when we as a society have made progress toward equality for gay folks, trans folks, and many other non-heteronormative folks. But progress does not mean that the full goal is achieved. Plenty of people - even people in authority - still fear, hate, and openly attack non-heteronormative folks. There is still "othering," there is still stigma, and yes, there is still violent rage. These things still occur in spades, and no one should ever be forced to come out unless that person is absolutely comfortable and ready.
Blaming a celebrity for not flaunting her sexuality to a culture that is still often and openly resentful of that sexuality's very existence is just one more way of unduly demanding perfection from people who happen to be in the public eye. Celebrities are people, and people are never perfect. People can never be exactly what anybody else wants them to be; this is especially true when you're famous, and performing for the entire world.
Jodie Foster said what she said, when she said it, how she said it, and I applaud her for it. Coming out to people you know takes courage; admitting and affirming your sexuality to complete strangers takes even more of it.
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